May 2018 TBR

        It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, but I am really excited about all the books I have lined up to read this month, so here is my May TBR! I have a lot going on this month, so it seems like I would have less time to read, but it honestly motivates me more. Kinda backwards, but I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me pretending I don’t have a lot of work to do… Anyways, here are all the books I am planning on reading this month!
          The first book is Educated by Tara Westover. I started this one two days ago and am already 70% done, so I get the feeling I will finish this one in the next day or so! It is a memoir about a girl who never goes to school and instead stays at home with her extremly mormon family preparing for the end days. It is very Glass Castle esque and I am loving it, because it is so different from anything I understand and it is interesting to see the way other people grew up.
          The next book I am currently reading is Princess of Thorns by Stacey Jay. I had never heard of this one, but I needed an audiobook the other day because I had a few hours worth of menial tasks to do. It is described as a sleeping beauty retelling, but from what I can tell, it seems more like Mulan. Aurora is a princess whose parents are dead, her throne taken by an ogre queen. Her brother was captured and she disguised herself as him, using her fae-gift of strength to summon an army to get her brother and her throne back. It is a multi-perspective ya fantasy novel that I am really enjoying so far!
          After that, I am going to read The Librarian of Auschwitz by Antonio Iturbe. I am not entirely sure what this is about other than what I can gather from the title. I am excited to go into this one with no expectations and no particular idea about what this book is about, other than books and the Holocaust. Sometimes it is nice to go into a book blind!
          The book I will be reading as soon as it arrives in the mail is A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas. This may be my most anticipated book ever, so I am so excited to be getting it in the next few days! I can almost guarantee my family will not be seeing any trace of me until I finish this book!
         After that, I am hoping to finish Once and for All by Sarah Dessen. This is a contemporary novel about wedding planning and I am enjoying what I have read so far! I love Sarah Dessen, so I think this will be a great read!
          The final book I will be finishing is Looking For Lovely by Annie F. Downs. I have been slowly reading through this book for the past month or so, but I am about 75% done now, so I should finish it by the end of May! I love Annie and how real her voice is, it is refreshing to read from!
That’s it for my May TBR! What are you planning on reading this month?

Tending to Seeds of Joy

This year has already been more. More of what, I can’t even begin to describe! It has been busier, crazier, harder, more exciting, more joy filled, and simply more than any other year before. In the past four months, I have grown undeniable joy in ways I never thought I would! I guest wrote for another blog (find it here), made art to be featured on many other Insta accounts, gained 400 new followers, and applied for 5 art shows this semester! How did that happen? How did I go from doodling on index cards to having a booth at an art fair? How did I begin with a box of crayons and now I have an entire desk and bookshelf devoted to art supplies? How did I start with a little blog post titled “Fearless Pursuit” and end up with 150 blog posts and a Youtube channel?

I guess the answer to these questions lies in that very first blog post. I chased after the things that excited me, that gave me life, that set me on fire! I pursued them fearlessly, confident that good things would come out of this adventure, and here I am now. A year and a half ago, I was planting tiny seeds of joy. I spent time watering them and watching them grow. I moved them to be soaking up the light of the sun (or Son, go Jesus!). And then I stepped back. I never realized how crazy what I was doing was because I fully believed in it! I didn’t understand why my mom was skeptical when I said I wanted a blog, I didn’t understand why people weren’t following my Instagram (but looking back now, I kinda see it… they aren’t the best posts ever!). Yet, I kept going, kept growing, kept tending to my plants. And by some miracle, God brought growth to my life, my business, and my relationships.  

I post a lot about Joy on this account. Fitting because my name is Undeniable Joy, right. Well, this was not always Undeniable Joy. When I began, I started typing in the randomest names to see what web addresses were available. I went through all the fruits of the spirit with countless adjectives, just hoping something would work. Then along came Undeniable Joy. Somehow it stuck. Honestly, I didn’t like it that much at first, yet somehow it has become my identity. I’m even thinking about legally changing my name from Katie to Undeniable Joy! (That was a joke, mom). Anyways, I cannot think of a better name for myself! When I began this account, I struggled with a lot of anxiety and was just beginning a long year of trials. If it hadn’t been for the constant reminder every time I checked instagram or my email, a constant reminder that no matter what I go through I have joy, last year would have gone very differently. I lost some people who were very dear to me, had friends in hard places, and was still struggling with anxiety. Yet I made it out, thanks to my little seeds of joy. What a blessing joy is!

This post is a recap for me, to see where I have been and where I am going. But I hope it also serves as encouragement for you! The seemingly silly things you work so hard on now may just be a lifesaver for you later. Don’t give up on your dreams, on the things you love, the things you feel called to. Chase after them fearlessly! I went from feeling like I was alone and sad to waking up every morning with a heart that is literally exploding with joy! This can be your life, too! The seeds you are sowing now, with care, love, and a whole lotta God, will grow into huge beautiful trees before your very eyes!

So where do we go from here? I don’t know about you, but I’ve made it this far. I’m not about to quit. This is only the beginning and there are so many more wonderful things in store. My life recently has been defined by jumping and shouting for joy because I am overflowing with excitement!

Those are the moments in which I feel alive. And I really like feeling alive.

Bible Journaling Process | Hebrews 13:6

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Dancing in the Rain

I’ve always heard of this idea, I’m sure you have to. It’s a little phrase called “Dance in the rain”. It has been illustrated on Pinterest thousands of times, included in hundreds of songs, and muttered on every rainy day. We hear it all the time, but what does it mean to dance in the rain?

I remember being a little girl, no older than 8. One day there was a torrential downpour. It was so bad I’m pretty sure there was even a flood warning. That day, I came home from school on the bus and my mom was waiting at the stop for me, like she always was. I got off the bus and with one look we knew what needed to happen.  We raced each other home and quickly took off our shoes and threw on bathing suits. Then we ran back out into the street and played and danced and chased each other in the water. It was so deep in some areas that we were able to kick water at one another. We were drenched! And we were aware of being soaked and freezing, but we didn’t care! There was too much fun to be had in the rain!

To dance is to celebrate, to have joy. It is like a little party, saying, “Yeah! I’m alive and I love it!” People who are struggling don’t take time to dance. People who are sad don’t want to dance. Dancing is exhausting. Have you ever tried to dance for a long period of time? You get really tired! But think about homecoming or parties with your friends. Your feet really hurt, but you don’t think you will ever be able to stop dancing!

When it rains, in the hard times, in the struggles, in the sadness, when the world stands against you, when the waters rise, do not stop dancing! Don’t stop celebrating that you are alive and that God is real! Rain comes in every part of life, whether it’s a drizzle or a downpour. Don’t let the daunting waters keep you from joy- just dance!

Have you ever noticed that on the really rainy Sundays that not that many people come to church? They make up excuses about sleeping in or something like that. For whatever reason, rain keeps people from church. It’s the same with spiritual rain. When bad things are happening in our lives, we often turn from God. We forget the joy he gives us and we decide to sleep in instead of facing the giants before us.

To dance in the rain is a paradox. It is not expected. It gets wet and messy. It is loud and “inappropriate”. It is crazy and childish. The world says, “No. Put on your boots and rain jacket. Pull out your umbrella. Hunch yourself over.” Dancing in the rain is not the way the world does things. But we are not of the world. We are loved with a radical love, we are exploding with the joy of the Lord. What if, instead of putting on a bathing suit and water shoes, we put on the full armor of God and confidently ran out into the rain? It’s crazy, but it’s who we are!

How can you dance in the rain in your daily life? How can you celebrate your wonderful life even when there are storms raging around you?

James 1:2 “Consider it pure joy, brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.”

Trusting God | Proverbs 3:5-6

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

The past few weeks have been hard. I think as a people, as a nation, as a world, and as a community we have gone through a lot. School shootings are ravishing the news, there are chemical and nuclear war threats, the ever present issues of global warming, terrorism, and corrupt political leaders. These and thousands upon thousands of other depressing news headlines are filling our heads. Being a student, the past few weeks have been saturated in debates about gun laws and threats being made against my school and others. In one word, I would describe the feeling at this time as hopeless.

It’s funny how God works in times like these. Last night I was talking to my pastor about all the threats, what people have been saying, and how much anxiety it is bringing me. We talked about how my friends are reacting, what the school is doing, and the overall community. After talking to him, I got in my car and switched the radio from the country station to christian. I knew I could use a little bit of hope in my drive home on this hopeless night, so I traded Thomas Rhett for Casting Crowns.

Normally, when I hear talking on the radio, I start scanning for a new station. So when I turned on the christian radio and heard a woman’s voice, I reached for the dial. But this time, I stopped and listened.

The woman on the radio was talking about encouragement. She read a few verses, including the one above, Proverbs 3:5-6. I have heard these two verses thousands of times. I’m sure you have, too. But they have never hit me so hard or meant so much to me until I heard them last night.

I have been forced so many times in the past few weeks to give an opinion on things that I a) don’t really care about or b) don’t understand. I try to articulate words that are loving yet slightly impartial, but always end up coming across as biased or judgemental. I end up basing my opinion on my perceived understanding of the facts. I say this or that about gun laws or women’s rights and suddenly, everyone is up in arms. I can never come up with the right thing to say on my own.

When I heard this verse, I realized that it seems like I have been messing up so much lately because I am leaning on my own understanding. I am not trusting God to take care of these situations. I am not trusting that he has all of these issues in his hands and that he has our futures planned. The verse tells us he will direct our steps and make our paths clear, we need only trust him. If I trust him to take care of me, he will make the right choice known to me at the proper time.

I found this definition for “trust in the Lord” and I think it is important to understand what trust is if we are going to be giving our whole lives to him. So to trust in God is to “wholly and securely rely upon God’s wisdom, power, and goodness, and upon his providence and promises, for direction and help in all thine affairs and dangers.” (That’s from the Benson Commentary on the English Bible) That’s a lot. It is fully giving yourself over to God. But he is God and he deserves every ounce of praise we have in our bodies. When we trust God, we are relying on the creator of the universe to see us through and guide our steps. It is comforting that the person who made stars and planets is the one helping me when hard topics come up in conversation.

I have found that trusting in God only works when you are in communication with him. You cannot trust someone that you do not know. It is so cliche, but reading your bible is the best way to tap into God’s truth. I found Proverbs 3:5-6 and it is helping me immensely, so do not underestimate your bible simply because you do not want to take the time to open it.

Praying is also a huge help. I asked God for guidance and I am certain that he is the one who made the lady on the radio station say these verses. And then encouraged me to listen and not switch station purely so I could hear his response to my prayers! God works in crazy ways like that, you just need to be receptive to hearing it!

Another thing is knowing when to be quiet. It is not necessary to give an opinion on everything and, oftentimes, it is best. Ask God to give you wisdom to discern when you should speak out or not. If you do speak up during hard conversations, ask God that your words be his words and that whatever you say is bringing him honor and glory.

Life is hard. Things come up and radically change the way we live. But in every trial and storm, God is our constant. Do not lean on your own understanding, trust in him! He is good and steadfast and he will guide your steps and see you through! You are not alone in this. You are never alone.