Choosing True Friends

In the past year or so, I have been changing friend groups. Before I got into high school, I never had that many close friends and I was never in a friend group. Throughout middle school, I was so eager to be a part of something that I ran to the first people who were friendly to me. I spent much of 9th grade with them and while none of them were bad people, I never felt truly love and truly accepted. I couldn’t talk about anything that was going on in my life or the world without fear of being judged. It wasn’t exactly what I had been dreaming of, so I distanced myself from them. It was scary because I was back in the place I had been for the past 3 years. I didn’t have any close friends at school anymore. I began to question why I left. Wouldn’t it be better to have fake friends than no friends? But now, I realize that was so far from the truth. I took this time that I was away from them and made my blog and Instagram. I worked on my relationship with other people and, more importantly, the Lord. Now, I am with a group of people who are kind to me, accepting, who listen to my ideas. They are fun and have strong personalities, just being around them makes me feel more confident.

I tell you this story because you should be evaluating the people you spend the most time with. Most people have a best friend, but why? Were your parents friends, did you go to the same PreK, were they the first people who wanted you, or are they genuinely good friends? In the Bible, there are many examples of true friendship. One is the story of Jonathan and David. The beginning of their story is detailed in 1 Samuel 18:1-3.

“After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. 2 From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn’t let him return home. 3 And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself.”

What are the characteristics you should be looking for in your closest friends? From the lives of Jonathan and David, we can see an example of true friendship.

1. The first is someone who will make sacrifices for you. Not necessarily someone who will dive in front of a bullet for you Captain America style, but someone who will sacrifice their time, talents, or money. For example, you had a bad day and want to talk, so your friend cancels their plans to be with you.
2. The next characteristic is someone who is loyal. Someone who will stand by you through everything and is not wavering or fickle. Sometimes, and we all know it, it seems easier to walk away when things get hard. But a true friend will stick by you. Through your hardest times they will stay with you
3. You should feel free to share with them. Whenever something happens, whether a joy or a sorrow, you feel safe to share it with them. Your friend should be a safe place for you to confide in.
4. Your friend must be forgiving. Romans 3 tells us that we have all sinned and all fallen, but we have all been forgiven and Colossians 3 says, forgive as the Lord forgave you. From those things, we know we are all forgiven sinners who must forgive one another. Find someone who lets you live like that.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, your friend should love you with a love that is founded in the love of Christ. A 1 Corinthians 13 sort of love that is patient and kind, not boastful, envious, or proud. In 1 Samuel 18, we read that Jonathan loved David as he loved himself. And from a love like that, a true Christ like love, all other things like forgiveness, selflessness, loyalty, and feelings of safety will come.

There are a few things to keep in mind when looking for your Jonathan. The first is that it will not happen overnight. You will not suddenly be best friends with someone, so don’t expect that. The next is that your best friend will not always be the same. That is okay. People grow and change and make new friends. You do too. Don’t be discouraged if you feel like you have lost your only friend. The Lord has greater plans for you. And most importantly, friendship isn’t a one way street. Ask the Lord to work in you to be the type of friend someone else would want to have.

How has your week been? Comment below because I would love to chat with you!