This past summer I was a camp counselor for kids in transitional homes from downtown Atlanta. We took them hiking, taught them to swim, and showed them the love of Jesus! Part of that was that each counselor told their testimony to a group of kids. I was the last counselor in my group to share and as I’m sitting there, thinking about what to say, I’m listening to the other testimonies. The first person to share sounds a little bit like me: They grew up in a christian household, starting going to church at an early age, and doubted God sometimes, but never strayed too far. Then the second person went. And the third. Then the fourth. They all sounded the same to me. The same story, the same experience. Then it was my turn. I thought, “What’s the point in sharing- these kids have all heard this story before.” At this point in my life, I had never lost a loved one, been incredibly angry at God, done anything awful or had anything awful done to me. These kids had been homeless. Most of them had to take care of their siblings at a young age. They had been through so much in their 8 years, I had been through so little in my almost 16. But, I shared anyways. I told them my story.
The testimony I told went something like this: “I was born into a Christian household and started going to church when I was 2 months old. When I was 5 or 6, I went to a camp and I heard the gospel message. I accepted Jesus then. The following 7 or so years were full of going to church on Sunday and Wednesday, church camps, and retreats. When I got into middle school and high school, trusting God became harder, but the people around me held me accountable to my relationship with him. Then, this past summer, I went on Chrysalis, a retreat where you learn all about Christ. I have never felt more loved in my life than when I was there. And now we’re here and that’s where I am.”
Nothing very special, right? Well, that’s what I thought, at least. And I really struggled with that. When I was in 6th grade I felt a call into ministry, to be a youth pastor, and that is still what I want to do with my life. It was incredible because I had never known what I wanted to do with my life. You know how all little kids say they want to be an astronaut or veterinarian? That was never me. I had never had any idea of where I wanted my life would take me. In being a pastor, I thought I had to have this epic comeback story. Something like I was abused or did drugs, but then Jesus saved me. That isn’t my story. And because of that, I felt unqualified. I thought God didn’t really need me because I didn’t have some terrible backstory. That is crazy! Never, ever think that God doesn’t need you! He doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called. So maybe my past isn’t like everyone else's, but God can still use it.
One way God is using my story is at this very moment. I am in a unique position to be able to write this blog post. Someone who has some crazy story wouldn’t think their story doesn't matter. Therefore they wouldn’t be able to encourage you because they don’t know what it feels like. I’ve been there, I’ve thought that God was unable to use me. And that is a hopeless place to be. I thought I was living for the Lord, but then I thought he doesn’t need me. Not everyone has felt that. But because I have, I can help other people who have as well.
Let me say this: I am grateful that I never went through anything terrible. I am blessed beyond all measure to be surrounded by people who love and support me. I am blessed to have been walking with the Lord for as long as I have. He has been doing great things in my life, things that never would have happened if I had not known him.
There will come a time when something does happen to me. Thankfully, the Lord has been working in me. He has been preparing me to handle that. People who are hurt and don’t have the Lord to fall back on may never heal. But, since I have God on my side, nothing that comes against me will stand. I will be able to weather the storms because he has taught me what it means to have faith.
There are still moments when I doubt if the Lord can use me. But I have seen his work in my life. I have been given countless opportunities because of the person he has made me. My story may seem like everyone else’s, but it is unique. It is my story and I would not trade it for the world.
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